Outside the Lines

Bernadine Fox

Invisible…
Fallaciously dubbed “Chronic Fatigue”

Headaches, migraines, back, muscle and bone pain. Legs lose a connection to my brain, becoming painfully clumsy and stiff. Knees threaten to collapse. Each miniscule joint in my hands and feet is identified by radiating agony.

My brain lapses into reading words or phrases inside-out. But worse, it attempts interpretation of same. Words, written or spoken, are confused with those from a similar region in my brain. My life is muddled.

Dualities
oil on canvas

I stand exhausted, struggling to keep my eyes open. My arms poised to reach, to hold, to pull, to push, to touch… and then, somewhere at the end of this day I must recall and perform “sleep”. My disease is this 15” cube with its inflexible sides too narrow to steady oneself upon.

As I gravitate between permitting implicit obscurity or insisting on explicit clarity, I know it is I who confuse the world around me. And, therefore, as in any illness, I am the dead weight I carry.

Take 5